One of the most beautiful aspects of Islam is the special emphasis that it places on treating others with utmost respect and kindness, even those who may have mistreated you. According to Islamic teachings, children are to treat their parents with dignity and respect at all times and parents are to exhibit equal amounts of appreciation to their children. Indeed, our children have certain rights over us as parents, and parents have rights over our children. Undoubtedly, family makes a strong foundation for the nurturing and development of children such that, when we pay special attention to our rights and responsibilities to one another, a successful family is formed that excels in this world and the Hereafter.
So, what are these key rights and responsibilities, how can we implement them into our lifestyles, and what are some pieces of evidence highlighted within the Quran and Sunnah that should be heeded and kept close to heart?
What Are the Rights of Parents in Islam?
Islam has repeatedly emphasized the respect that children must show to their parents because this is a fundamental duty upon all Muslims. Our parents have sacrificed so much for us whether it’s moving to different places to provide better opportunities for their children; working two jobs to provide for the growth of their children; sacrificing their dreams for the success of their children, and so much more. We owe it to them that every morning, we greet them with smiles, hugs, love, and kindness. We should make it a part of our routine to express our gratitude to them and pray for their good health and safety. We should learn lessons from them and implement them into our characters and lifestyles because they are experienced individuals who only want the best for us. Most importantly, be sure to show kindness, gentleness and empathy towards your mother who has endured much hardship to provide everything she can to bring a healthy child into this world.
Allah (SWT) recognizes and validates this when He says in Surah Luqman, “And We have commanded people to honour their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return,” (The Clear Quran®, 31:14).”
In At-Tirmidhi, the Prophet (SAW) is reported to have said, “A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it.” When we were growing up as children, there were many times when our behaviors would greatly frustrate our parents and they would discipline us to correct our actions with the intentions that they want us to be the best versions of ourselves at home and in public. This requires a great deal of patience because childhood is all about mistakes and learning from our parents. However, what about when our parents make an honest mistake? Why are we not patient with them? Why are we not forgiving towards them?
No matter how frustrated or mentally exhausted we may be, we still owe it to our parents to be soft-hearted towards them because Allah (SWT) says in Surah Al-Isra, “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them even ugh, nor yell at them. Rather, address respectfully (The Clear Quran®, 17:23).”
When our parents age, that period becomes the hardest for the child(ren) because most of their time is dedicated to their wellbeing, but remember what the Prophet (SAW) has said: we can either hold onto the gates of Heaven, or we can let it close on us completely. The choice is ultimately up to us.
The best means to establish stronger relations with our parents is dua. Prayer is one of the most pure and beautiful ways to show your love towards someone because you ask your Lord to keep them in His protection and cast His mercy upon them. The best dua that children can make for their parents is from Surah Al-Isra where Allah (SWT) says, “And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, ‘My Lord! Be merciful to them as they raised me when I was young (The Clear Quran®, 17:24).”
Finally, to reiterate, remember that some of the major rights parents have upon children include: obedience, respectful behavior, gratitude/prayer, and taking care of them when they are old or visiting them to care for them.
What Are the Rights of Children in Islam?
Now that we have addressed the rights of parents over children, we must also shed light on the rights children have over their parents. As the Prophet (SAW) explains in the following hadith, “Your children have the right of receiving equal treatment, as you have the right that they should honor you (Abu Dawoud).” When we raise our children, the early stages of their life are like wet clay. Whatever they learn from us – wittingly or unwittingly – will imprint on them, leaving an indelible mark. In another hadith, the Prophet (SAW) says, “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and respect to our elders (Abu Dawoud).” From both of these Ahadith, we understand that our children reserve the right to be cared for, loved, and nurtured.
To have a good name is also a right of children over parents. In a hadith from the Prophet (SAW), he says, “On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and by your father’s names, so give yourselves good names (Abu Dawoud).”
Even in the case of earning an education, children hold a right over their parents. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said “There is no gift a father gives his child more virtuous than a good education. (Tirmidhi)”
Speaking on behalf of Furqaan Academy Bolingbrook, Principal Nazia M. Jalali said, “I assert with unwavering conviction that the right to education is not merely a privilege, but a fundamental right of every child. Education is the cornerstone of a just society and we must champion this right with fervor and resolve. An educated child is the foundation of a thriving society where innovation, compassion, and progress can flourish.”
Finally, be just and fair towards your children. We mentioned earlier that, as children grow, they will be prone to making mistakes that parents, out of experience, know to never make. However, we must be patient and empathetic, guiding them in a way that brings them closer to us and Allah (SWT) instead of pushing them farther away.
Within this article, we have learned that the best parent-child relationships are built on love, respect, and mutual responsibility. By understanding these rights and duties, we can strengthen our families and grow closer to Allah (SWT). Let us strive to honor our parents, nurture our children and fill our homes with mercy, patience, and faith.
May Allah (SWT) bless all of our parents, accept their efforts in raising us, and raise our children to be the best of the best and to become the pride and joy of their parents, InshAllah. Ameen!